On The Weight of Adulting

Photo By: Val Gonzalez @valgonzalez_photos

Adulting is tough. Little tasks are tough. Life is tough! The past few weeks, folks would ask me “How are you?” I didn’t know how to answer. I had SO much good happening all around me. Everything I’d been wanting and dreaming of the whole year. Paid video projects. A photoshoot for myself. A culminating dance project for ZTheory. An invite to perform at an online cabaret. A new job that I was actually excited about. And more! So much to be excited about, and so much to be working towards… but I felt horrendous. I felt so behind. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I just couldn’t focus and I couldn’t get excited about all of these amazing opportunities. Not that there was anything wrong with any of them… yes there was a lot to do, but I liked… doing it? (ayyyye)

The problem was… I was neglecting real life. Not on purpose. Not that any of that isn’t real life. But REAL life. Yaknow… like the daily adult tasks and the adult things you have to do to make fun life… fun. (i guess I’m calling my creative life my fun life, idk). I’d been meaning to trade my car in for WEEKS. I needed to go through bills. I needed to check my budget and bank accounts. I NEEDED to actually grocery shop. I was SO behind on laundry… and dishes… and I really wanted to clean my bathroom lol. Yes, I was doing these things, but only when absolutely necessary. Lemme tell ya… that feels HORRIBLE.

So… yeah. A little revelation on my end. Maybe others know this already, maybe others need to be reminded… BUT the difficult part about creative work (imo) is not the creative part… it’s the adulting part. There’s so many little things you need to do before AND after. You have to eat. You have to pay bills. You… should shower. Etc etc. It’s easy to be swept up by the glitter and the glamour of your fun life and JUST do the bare minimum, but baby… I’m learning that REAL life piles up fast and ruins ALL the fun of your fun life - so keep on that shit! Also… be nice to yourself in the process of doing all those little tasks. It’s grueling. It’s tedious. You don’t have to be “good” at that part, but it does need to get done.

I’m writing this now after deep cleaning my apartment, and trading in my car. Side note… on my way to trade in the car I got rear-ended LOL (but don’t tell the dealership plz thanks hehe). Now I feel like I can actually write. I feel like I can enjoy all the fun stuffs I have coming up.

The hit-and-run suspect :(

I tried to get a photo but was tooooooo slooooooow. Also yes… it was a hit and run. Super fun.

So… I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: Dedicate 30 minutes one day to list all of the real life things you are neglecting. Rank them in order of which tasks feel “heaviest.” Dedicate an ENTIRE second day, and do the one that feels heaviest FIRST. It might take all day (trading in my car did), but once that weight has been lifted - the rest is EASY. I promise.

That’s it!!! Hope y’all are well and thanks for reading!!!

Love,

RJ